year marks

Bitter sweet memories. Today you were married a year ago to the day not date, that will be tomorrow. It was a happy day for you and I am sure you looked forward to many happy years together with your wife. We have more one year anniversaries coming up and I am finding myself sad beyond my plan of sadness. I guess I wanted to gauge or control where I would be with my loss of you. It is impossible to predict day to day how I can make it through without hearing your voice, getting a phone call or just know that you will be there at the next activity. The best way I can describe it is just empty space that nothing can fill. Soon we will be remembering Dennis' wedding and how for some that day is the last day they saw you alive. I was fortunate to see you the Sunday after when you came over and we played that silly solitaire game. I remember the hug good-bye. You put your arm around my shoulder and I put my arm around your waist. ( I remember thinking how tall and skinny you were). I walked you and your wife out the front and watched you walk up the lane (with your bounce) and off you went, the last time I saw you. I am joyful when I think of the years we had together. I am thrilled for the experiences we had together. I wouldn't have wanted to miss any one of them. We laughed, yelled, chatted, talked and learned from our mistakes. Our imperfections were perfect mother and son bond. I miss you and hope like heck you are here with me for the next couple of months. (keep an eye on David he needs it right now) I love you and miss you! mom